On Tears

On Tears

Tears are a mixed bag for most women. Are we supposed to cry or not cry? Crying in front of the boss, or patient is a big no-no. And why is it not ok for men to cry? Why are women perceived as weak when there are tears? There are tears of anger; tears of frustration; tears of sadness; tears of fear; tears of great grief, and tears of being touched in a sad kind of way, or moved by someone or something, or inspired. There are tears of great happiness, joy, and awe; tears of suffering and pain; tears when dust is in our eyes; tears with hot pepper in a delicious meal. We cry tears before God; tears as a child when we were hurt or scared and our mother kissed our hurts away; tears of profound gratitude when someone goes out of their way for us; tears with lovers when you touch another so deeply that you see yourself and God; tears of childbirth with pain and joy all mixed together; tears while we are alone; tears of remembrances-of a whole life lived; tears when our minds grasp the awe and wonder of all things being one.

When I look at this list of times and circumstances of tears, I do not see anything but great and powerful moments and texture of life, as part of being alive. I think we don’t like tears because we can’t always control them and they can sometimes make other people uncomfortable. What if we embraced our tears rather than resist them? Yes, they can be inconvenient when you have to wipe them away and blow your nose, especially when you don’t have a hankie or a tissue. Yes, sometimes when we cry, we get that “ugly face” that is somewhat embarrassing and not our best look. And, it is certainly inconvenient when your mascara runs. But I have never understood the embarrassment and discomfort, except that it is all about looking good, perfect, and in control. We try so hard not to feel things and emotions deeply!

Perhaps today I will look at tears as prayers to God, thanksgiving and praise, and for forgiveness, and let them flow.